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“How to be Happy” Loophole

We all want to be happy… right?!

If that was the case, why do so many people with such propensity to be happy…just…seem…to…eventually…self-destruct?

The trick to being happy is NOT to “obtain” happiness! By doing that, we are really putting our happiness in the “obtainment of whatever it is that was obtained”. The REAL secret to securing happiness is to…

…REDEFINE what “happiness” means to you!!

But even then, one should be prepared to reconsider, refine, and redefine happiness ALL OVER AGAIN.  What made us happy as children is not, by and large, what would make us happy today.  Why?  Because while the external parameters have not change – our internal algorithm has!

So what do we do? The answer is, as many things, in the theme of this blog 🙂

Learn from the past

Understand why we are the way we are.  Evaluate the past, but do not be chained by it.  LEARN AND GROW from it. What relationships and situations impacted us in an extremely positive and/or an extremely negative way? KNOW THYSELF.  Know, breathe, and LIVE those two simple words and you can change everything about your environment and the way you interact with it to facilitate RAPID change, and promote happiness.

Understand, and embrace, your weaknesses.  Know that they are a part of you – but they do not define you.  Those weaknesses may simply be the EXACT springboard you need in order to facilitate the tremendous growth you can realize by overcoming them!

And certainly, understand, and embrace, your strengths.  Know that they are often times the very same characteristic that seeds your weaknesses; and know that the characteristic itself, once learned, can help navigate you down the path of happiness quicker than any exploration of “cause and effect” ever could.  Let go of the bad, let go of the good — just understand.  Look for the connections, and be prepared for growth.


Never say never unless it’s in the phrase “never say never”! Allow the “feeling” of the moment to help provide clarity into what true happiness, for you, is.   You are capable of anything, and thus, everything.  Most, if not all, limitations in life, stem from ourselves (and our ‘self-destruction’ – as if we have a automated program written to control our level of elation in a given moment).

When things seem too good to be true – they often are.  But not because they were meant to be; but rather, because we do not expect things to be too good to be true — and once we do, the things that are too good to be true are no longer expected.

The trick is to live every day, embrace every moment, as if it’s your last.  I am, by FAR, not the first to say this — and I am, by FAR, not the last. But why are we talking about the first and the last — when the focus should be ON THE MOMENT ITSELF!

Envision a ‘camera rolling’ in the prime moments of your life – take a “snapshot”, recall the picture, the smells, the colors, the depth, the feelings…. Soak it all in.  When you do this – you will not only live your moments to the fullest, but you will also improve the integrity of “your historical data” when, in the future, you again try to LEARN FROM THE PAST!


Want the true secret to happiness?

It’s going to sound more altruistic than it even needs to – because it is also the MOST SELFISH THING WE COULD DO!!!



I was (‘historically’ at least) far too bad of a person ever to offer this recommendation – but it is THE TRUTH, whether you are 100% SELFISH or 100% SELFLESS.  I have yet to hear an explanation as to why this argument does not hold water – so by all means, feel free to comment and/or email me at if you do have a point of contention.

In the meanwhile, think about this.

It’s easier said than done, friends.  I just HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY, as I work on redefining my definition of happiness for myself!!!

Related Articles You’ll Be Happy to Read:
Happiness: The Contents of Being Content

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