Why does the “Star Spangled Banner” play for the winner of the National Anthem Olympics?
How is Canadian wine? What is “the trade”? Where do almonds grow?
…and when a well-dressed creep asks for a raw steak on a cold plate… how does he tip?
Have you experienced the mysteries
of Canada, Swingers, or Fear?
If not… more mysteries are to come!
If so… no need to relive these questionable memories! Buuuut, if you must, might as well do so with your friends Stan and Stitch in this episode of Loopholes on Life!
Big and small; long and short…do you know what these words mean? However you may define them today, you will redefine them tomorrow. Our perspective and relative perception of these words changes as we go and grow — the trick is to avoid letting these words become part of your decision making process. A recent experience of mine reinforced just how relevant this ‘loophole’ is, as my close friend’s younger brother passed away. Here is the story, or the long and the short of it:
A SMALL GESTURE IN THE WAKE OF A LOVED ONE’S DEATH
After hearing the news that his younger brother passed away unexpectedly at 23 years old, I attempted twice to speak to my friend without breaking down myself, to no avail.
Even if I had ‘words of wisdom’ at the time, which I did not, it was not the time for them. Sometimes it is just time to mourn. I couldn’t offer some profound advice that would change his perspective on the loss, and yet, I couldn’t merely be the friend that sends a fruit basket or some flowers.
As I contemplated what to do, I read his brother’s facebook wall… the messages were amazing. The amount of people that were inspired by his brother was inspiring itself. I decided my small contribution would be.
I compiled pictures from his wall, batched up the quotes, looked at his ‘musical likes’ and mixed an audio based on two Modest Mouse songs (as well as some covers which transitioned them together well). Since they have family in Mexico, I did my due diligence to try to translate some of those quotes so they were not overlooked — they were some of the most profound sentiments in the end.
I finally had the words, through others, to put together a message… Nothing that has not been done before in one capacity or another, but something I thought was a good summation of his life and impact.
A BIG SURPRISE IN THE WAKE OF A SMALL GESTURE
Long story short – my friend greatly appreciated the gesture… That is all I hoped for, giving my friend just a small bit of peace in a very tough time — by providing a him something he could reference to remember how his little bro left his mark on this world and in others.
Then — a week later, 2 days before mothers day, it was me who was touched.
I received a call from my friend, who said his mother would like to talk to me. I had not seen her for over a decade, since we’ve lived states apart ever since college. I immediately expressed my condolences. And then his soft-spoken mom said to me words that I will never forget:
“I just wanted to thank you very much for the video. It makes me sad then happy, and it was the only thing that has given me peace. It helped me to believe in God again”.
Once again I cannot speak on this topic without shedding a tear – but this time, because it was amazing to me how something I almost considered NOT doing because I didn’t know how it would be received, could be the one thing to give a brokenhearted mother a bit of peace.
My friend told me his family watched the video together on Mothers day, and his mothers day gift to his mom was a tablet with a link to the youtube video, so she could watch it any time…
My lesson learned is to never assume that any gesture is too small if your heart is in the right place… Just as my friend’s little bro had a long lasting effect in a short life — sometimes even the smallest decisions can have the biggest impacts.
My response to a debate thread on a board regarding “Why God Exists”…
Is God the Question…or Answer?
Debate: Why does God Exist
Because life is a fractal relationship between infinite micro and macrocosms; as above, so below; the good and bad we see in others is also in ourselves, and that inter-connectivity is also a reflection of what is more and what is less.
And that inter-connectivity manifests onward and upward, inward and outward, at an exponential rate and fractal shape.
The fractal is all encompassing, “we were created in His image” – and thus, we create in our image. Whether through genetics – or whether through innovative feats of exceeding our own brain processing power and storage.
Neither good nor bad – He is wholly holy and holy wholly; as we continue to perceive ourselves as finite pieces and not perceiving the infinite puzzle we are apart of.
The yin and the yang of infinite and finite create the infinite decimals between 0 and 1 — the gray area between “yes” and “no” — which enables us to experience… it sets the stage for polarity — and relativity, both scientifically and emotionally.
…it also sets the stage for making us perceive ourselves as ‘separate bodies’ from the greater body.
…we are afraid of the unknown, and yet, the unknown is only known by overcoming that very FEAR!
Alas, the inter-connectivity of all things across infinite microcosms, macrocosms, and ALL TIME echoes the same truth ‘time and time again’ — but we deafen our ears to these timeless truths because of FEAR – and our NEED to hang on to our individual puzzle piece… the need to validate our ego.
YET even that FEAR itself, which prevents us from seeing the truth that is quite literally in us (et al.), nonetheless REFLECTS the same TRUTH! Fear itself is made of the same structure all things are made of — it too is a series of micro and macrocosms. And for human beings, one of the most recognizable ‘macrocosms of fear’ to overcome — the overarching fear from which all our mortal fears stem from — is our FEAR OF DEATH! Our need, once again, to ‘hang on to our ego’ — the concept of what we are today — because we cannot perceive the world without us… We are afraid of the unknown….
Face your fear of death, and unveil the face of God.
…we are afraid of the unknown, and yet, the unknown is only known by overcoming that very FEAR! Overcome this chicken-and-egg circumstance by finding peace. Find peace through love. TRULY confront this fear and relinquish your individual puzzle piece to be one with the puzzle itself – and you will not only believe in God. You will know Him as you know yourself.
This particular fear binds together all fears in the worlds of time and timelessness. Face your fear of death, and unveil the face of God.
We are parts; we are connected; He is whole; We are one. Father, Son, Holy Spirit.
“All that is gained in life; is lost in death. Share.”
Surviving the Loss:
We gain many things in our time, which are used in our test;
….for all we accrue in a life — we will lose in our death.
Yet much perspective can be gained, as one becomes aware;
That the things we have which survive are the ones we share.
Relocating can be a moving experience in more ways than one. This article contains some great information regarding the benefits of “Relocation Therapy”, provided by Elliman brokers exclusively for Loopholes readers – enjoy!
How Relocation Can Help You Move Past the Loss
Relocation therapy is a new form of healing that requires people to move to new locations and start their lives over. This method has been proven effective by numerous therapists who have tried it with patients. Many patients have relocated to areas different from their current location to recover from a job loss, death of a spouse, mid-life crisis, or a divorce. Here are reasons why relocation therapy works:
Removes People From an Environment Causing Angst
Unfortunately, when we lose a spouse to death or divorce or a job, there are reminders in the home and in the city where you spent the most time with the spouse or co-workers. The reminders can be unbearable if you are trying to move beyond the hurt. Moving to a new city can remove the triggers that may cause you to cry or feel uncomfortable when you see the reminders. When people relocate to new states from their current state, the new environment can give them the push they need to meet new people and recover from loss.
Creates New Networking Opportunity
When you have exhausted resources in one city, it may be time to move on to another city. A new city may have opportunities that your old city does not. You may have been looking for a job in a city for nine months and move to a new city and find a job within six weeks. The job market may be saturated where you are currently. Relocation may be the best option.
New Homes Build Positive Energy
New homes build positive energy. When you redecorate and invite new friends, you build new memories. This is essential in the healing process. Buying a new home can also help with a mid-life crisis. It is like buying a new car. Having something new in your life to wrap your mind around is healthy. So often people get stuck in the same daily routine in their home life that they get into a rut, making a change to a new scenery can make a worlds difference. Moving into an area such as NY real estate, in the city that never sleeps, can provide you with an endless amount of positive energy with the surrounding activities. You will find yourself looking forward to getting up the next day with there always being something to do.
Try relocation therapy, it may work for you. Relocation therapy works! You just have to find a therapist who is familiar with the process who can walk you through and ensure that you are making the proper decision. Consider relocation therapy if you cannot move past a loss in your life.
This information was written by Ken Torrino, web relations for Elliman, brokers for New York City real estate.
