Wanna be remembered forever – or at least ’til there is nothing left to be remembered!? Take a tip from the all-but-forgotten Mayan civilization which suddenly surged back into modern-day relevancy!
Yes friends, you too can create a legacy which towers over even the most massive megalithic structures of old! YOU TOO CAN CREATE A DOOMSDAY CALENDAR!
T’was the Eve of 12/21/12….
Many, (many, many) moons ago…a special calendar was born.
A calendar said to be so precise it documented our future; of such accuracy, many believe ITS end marks OUR end.
A calendar which, conveniently, ends THIS Friday, December 21, 2012…TGIThursday.
HARK! This calendar is of such significance that many believe the end of days are upon us! This ancient time keeping system is of such importance that… um… 99% of EVERYONE did not know it existed until… um… the calendar was 99.99% over?!
BE NOT AFRAID, for by understanding how one can manufacture their own countdown to doomsday — you JUST MIGHT be find solace on this solstice!
The “Armageddon” Calendar Guide:
STEP 1. Make the Calendar Timeless
Remember, this calendar needs to stick around for a while. It needs to be timeless.
A calendar is based on time. Time is finite. Infinity is timeless. One must account for the concept of infinity to ensure the calendar is timeless.
Sounds infinitely difficult, huh? Au contraire! You already grasp the concept of infinity quite well. You conceptualized it better as a child, before all that left-brained rationality got in the way. Just think “circle” – one of the first shapes you learned.
The calendar needs to be a “cycle”.
By structuring it to repeat, a calendar can continue indefinitely without losing the finite quality of time we so rely on.
STEP 2. When the Stars Align
Align the calendar with something that will be around for a while, to give future generations relevant (and relative) context!
Saddened by the difficulty of this task? Do not look down, LOOK UP!
Start with the stars. It doesn’t take a master of astronomy for us to look up at the sky and conclude that those shiny bright dots have been and will be around for a hot minute!
STEP 3. “FAR OUT” Ideas
Next, select an end date, one which is very (very, very) far into the future…
Humanity has a tendency to assume there is a positive relationship between age and reliability.
Remember, you’ve already made the calendar timeless…. This step ensures that future civilizations focus more on the duration than they do on the cycles – lose them in the length!
STEP 4. Signs of Their Times
Remember “align” with your former points as well – the date should also be based on cycles of time based on something that will be around for a while – such as a summer or winter solstice.
You got some wiggle room here! When selecting that “far out” date, pick something that (1) aligns with whatever you aligned your calendar to (:cough: winter solstice :cough:), and (2) has some numeric significance (just in case time is being tracked the same way it is today).
Be creative and have some FUN with it!!
Impending doom will undoubtedly strike the hearts of humanity once again in the year 9,999 AD. Or perhaps 7,777 AD is something you can work with. Quadruple digits will always trigger something our historically evident irrational rationalization of numbers and their meaning… Not to mention, 7,777 will be within a couple centuries of the next “great cycle” end in the Mayan calendar!
STEP 5. Set it in Stone & Let the Future Us do the Rest!
“The future is uncertain but the end is always near.”
― Jim Morrison
It has been foretold….the same old story….over and over again.
Every generation predicts the end. EVERY generation predicts the end. The pattern repeats, so I will as well: EVERY GENERATION PREDICTS THE END.
It is human nature. Just as the desire to be significant as an individual – to put significance in the state we live in – the country we live in – the planet we live on — WE WANT THE TIME WE LIVE IN TO HAVE SIGNIFICANCE AS WELL!!
Yes… believe it or not, even many who fear the idea of impeding doom and destruction in their lifetime also, in a very subtle way, recognize that it makes “the time in which they lived” that much more significant.
Of course I am not saying that most people really want the world to end, BUT, some do. And of those who do not want the world to end, many still do not find much peace by the idea of it going on without them! Not because they wish the worst for the world – but because they often have not overcome their fear of death and have not effectively answered the question…. “then what?”
So the final step here is simple – SET IT IN STONE! Scribe your calendar in the hardest rock you can find and built it to stand the test of time.
Create several copies. Bury them somewhere. You built your timeline out into the distant future – humanity will always find a way to “uncover buried treasures of the past”.
Once your prophetic wisdom has been unveiled to the world; linked to cycles of time which outlasts many generations, your end of the world prediction will go viral! Humanity already has a reason for ‘looking for an end date’ — rest assured they will see the end in your timeline, and/or assign an end to it – and…VOILA!
The countdown begins! Your very own doomsday prophecy has come to life!!
Congratulations, you have Successfully Created your own Apocalypse Clock!
By making a well-thought out, timeless, calendar – which is set-in-stone and relatively accurate based on it’s reflection of cosmic cycles, you’ve ensured that the integrity of your calendar will not be crippled along the way.
You’ve also ensured that when your prophecy is not fulfilled, your calendar is not scoffed at — because the cycles will be recognized once the veil of fear has been lifted!
By making it extremely long and “FAR OUT” while leaving room for interpretation – you can simply let the cake bake and see how humans react in a few thousand years….
After all – history repeats, just like your newly created doomsday calendar does!!
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6 thoughts on “Create your own Doomsday Prophecy in 5 Uneasy Steps!”
Great “last” article before we all implode/explode/disappear at midnight! Hurry up and make a hard copy (on rock) so that the aliens or time travelers know we weren’t all a bunch of wackos and at least some of us had a decent sense of humor (before we were blindsided by the implosion/explosion/disappearing.)
Haha, awesome comment! Hopefully the aliens and/or time travelers and/or time traveling aliens share our sense of humor…..
Thanks for the read & the comment!
Bravo. Love this a great break to my work day and the stress brought on from the world ending in less than 24hrs.
lol – enjoy the end of the day and hopefully not of the world!! Thanks for the comment!
great article! i really like your idea of burying your calendar for it to be “uncovered buried treasure of the past”.